Reflections From The River

I find myself being called back to the river, as a sailor gets called by the sirens. The longer I am away, the louder and more pronounced the voice becomes. This time, the sirens’ voices grew so loud I could not ignore her. 

Flashback 8 years: I took my first whitewater rafting trip through Ruby and Horsethief Canyons on the Colorado River. The entrance to this journey, a dirty, dusty, sandy boat launch, alluded to nothing of what secrets the 25 miles of river held. There, freedom swallowed me whole.

I remember the canyon walls being tall, wide, and daringly red. I remember the water being brown and milky, like hot cocoa. I remember the warm air and hot sun, but the water being cold enough to turn a Coors Light can blue. I remember the eagles gliding overhead and the antelope roaming below. I remember the friendship; I remember the friendship.

Fast forward 8 years, the world has changed and is changing more and more rapidly. As I get older, I watch as the world changes faster than I can adapt to, finding myself wishing things were just as they used to be. This year, the worldwide pandemic of COVID-19 hit, locking us into our homes and changing the way life outside of the house operates. In the thick of it, my personal perception of strangers changed and were based around uncertainty and fear. Do they have the virus? Do I have it? Can I spread it? I was afraid of what I didn’t know. I was afraid of hurting someone. I was afraid of hurting myself. I was afraid of what I didn’t know. I was afraid of how the world has changed. 

As an outdoor content creator working in a freelance industry, I have many, many variables in my life and a lot that I do not know. Every shoot has different look, likely a different location, different weather, definitely different gear, different crew, different budget, and a different story. There are an infinite amount of variations that create a different outcome. I find myself wishing I could count on something that I knew. Something that grounds me.

Here, I am listening to the sirens’ calls, drawing me back to the same section of river. My life has changed immensely and the world as a knew it has changed more than myself. But here I am again, floating down the Colorado River. As I pull a cold beer out of the drag bag, I see the red sandstone walls, the eagle on his perch. I lay back, open the beer and feel the warm summer sun, just as I remembered it. 

-Raleigh